becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

So in a really weird twist the Global Powers That Be (lizard people, maybe?) decided that an appropriate place for a NATO summit was bloody South Wales. And not just anywhere in South Wales. Newport. They had a look round and decided that a small ex-industrial city with such poor road network infrastructure that the entire thing gridlocks twice a day like Pompei on Volcano Day was SIMPLY THE PERFECT PLACE, and so now they’ve built several dozen miles of steel walls along the roads and closed down the fucking M4.

WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.

However, we are now in the bemusing position of all the world’s leaders turning up in Newport, and I need to go home this weekend for Family Reasons, so does anyone have any particular world leader they’d like me to throw an egg at, give a cursed lovespoon to, that sort of thing?

Wales is the perfect place for a NATO summit because most people don’t believe Wales actually exists. It’s some magical faery place that normal people can’t get into, so most of them won’t try. It’s like Hogwarts. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you can’t see it.

Perfectly secure. Except, you know, for all the people who actually live there. So they put up the steel walls and close the M4.

I wouldn’t want you to risk getting shot for egging any world leaders, and I don’t particularly hate the current POTUS, so I have no requests. You, however, might have some Views concerning your own PM, in which case I fully encourage you and will deny knowing anything about it if they question me later. I will say you were on Tumblr and so couldn’t possibly have been at the summit handing out cursed lovespoons.

Hmmm…that got me thinking….could you curse a lovespoon so that whoever touched it could speak nothing but Welsh for a certain amount of time? Ooo, I want a story about that now.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys
becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

yesfuzzydragons:

hogwarts-in-the-shire:

king-of-tacos:

thefrozenrose:

aspergersissues:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

This is sickening.

I went to a school like this when I was in grade six. My inhalers were locked up in the office, and I was having an attack. My memories are a bit foggy (I couldn’t breathe after all) but I recall my twin sister and somebody else wheeling me all the way to the office in a computer chair. Thankfully I was lucky and got my meds in time; I ended up off school for a week and a half recovering.
This shit is scary. Rescue inhalers should be on the person of the child who NEEDS them, and if they are too young then they should be with the caregiver. There is absolutely no excuse to keep RESCUE MEDICATIONS locked up away from the people who need them FAST.

what the hell

??????? what the fuck

America, everyone. Where if you’re “defective” and need a rescue inhaler, they’d rather you just die and save everyone the fucking trouble. Oh, you think eugenics is a thing of the past? Then you’ve clearly never been to the United Fucking States.
Oh, and that poor kid’s parents probably had to shell out thousands of dollars from their own pockets for the medicine that would have kept their child alive if he’d had access to it.

This was policy in my secondary school in the UK, too, but we all just ignored that and kept our own damn medication on us. Fuck knows why it was even a thing. Also, when I was about 15 I went out horseriding at a stables in the Brecon Beacons, and as we were halfway along the ridge of the Black Mountains - and therefore miles from civilisation, except the faeries - some bloke on the ride started having an asthma attack (probably the faeries.) He had his inhalers on him, but the ride leader stopped him using them, because she wasn’t covered by her insurance to let him take them.
A few of my finest biting sentences later and she saw not letting the poor bastard die was probably the better part of avoiding the mother of all insurance claims, and so basically had to go OH LOOK AT THAT INTERESTING BIRD GUYS and stare at a buzzard fixedly until he’d taken his inhalers while we loudly said things like WOW YOU KNOW WHAT ISN’T HAPPENING RIGHT NOW A MAN TAKING HIS INHALERS NOPE NOT HERE

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

yesfuzzydragons:

hogwarts-in-the-shire:

king-of-tacos:

thefrozenrose:

aspergersissues:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

This is sickening.

I went to a school like this when I was in grade six. My inhalers were locked up in the office, and I was having an attack. My memories are a bit foggy (I couldn’t breathe after all) but I recall my twin sister and somebody else wheeling me all the way to the office in a computer chair. Thankfully I was lucky and got my meds in time; I ended up off school for a week and a half recovering.

This shit is scary. Rescue inhalers should be on the person of the child who NEEDS them, and if they are too young then they should be with the caregiver. There is absolutely no excuse to keep RESCUE MEDICATIONS locked up away from the people who need them FAST.

what the hell

??????? what the fuck

America, everyone. Where if you’re “defective” and need a rescue inhaler, they’d rather you just die and save everyone the fucking trouble. Oh, you think eugenics is a thing of the past? Then you’ve clearly never been to the United Fucking States.

Oh, and that poor kid’s parents probably had to shell out thousands of dollars from their own pockets for the medicine that would have kept their child alive if he’d had access to it.

This was policy in my secondary school in the UK, too, but we all just ignored that and kept our own damn medication on us. Fuck knows why it was even a thing. Also, when I was about 15 I went out horseriding at a stables in the Brecon Beacons, and as we were halfway along the ridge of the Black Mountains - and therefore miles from civilisation, except the faeries - some bloke on the ride started having an asthma attack (probably the faeries.) He had his inhalers on him, but the ride leader stopped him using them, because she wasn’t covered by her insurance to let him take them.

A few of my finest biting sentences later and she saw not letting the poor bastard die was probably the better part of avoiding the mother of all insurance claims, and so basically had to go OH LOOK AT THAT INTERESTING BIRD GUYS and stare at a buzzard fixedly until he’d taken his inhalers while we loudly said things like WOW YOU KNOW WHAT ISN’T HAPPENING RIGHT NOW A MAN TAKING HIS INHALERS NOPE NOT HERE

badwolfroseandcrownsoufflegirl
fishingboatproceeds:

aliewa:

grouchythefish:

ladyofpurple:

I like how the original title for The Fault in Our Stars is all poetic and then the Norwegians just translated it to “fuck destiny” and I think that’s beautiful

Aw man, I thought for sure this had to be bullshit but nope


Why is it always Norway

Norway, a nation where you can put the word “fuck” on the cover of a young adult novel.

Dear great-grandparents: Why the fuck did you leave Norway?

fishingboatproceeds:

aliewa:

grouchythefish:

ladyofpurple:

I like how the original title for The Fault in Our Stars is all poetic and then the Norwegians just translated it to “fuck destiny” and I think that’s beautiful

Aw man, I thought for sure this had to be bullshit but nope

image

Why is it always Norway

Norway, a nation where you can put the word “fuck” on the cover of a young adult novel.

Dear great-grandparents: Why the fuck did you leave Norway?